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My Ultimate Goal: Automate IT

My first real job was manually sorting printed superannuation statements. I had to go through about a dozen boxes, each with about 2000 pieces of paper, and separate them into piles: single-page statements, and multi-page statements.

Why? Because the program that printed the statements just printed them all at once, so you ended up with the single-page statements mixed in with the multi-page statements. The mailout company needed to know whether a packing run was to have single-pages folded into envelopes, or 2 pages, or 3. Otherwise, someone might get 2 pages; 1 page of their financial info, and 1 page of someone else’s. Bad news for a financial company.

So they gave the job to a 16 year old wanting 2 weeks of holiday work. Go figure.

Mind numbingly tedious? Hell yeah. Also: paper cuts.

Industrial Robots

Fast forward a few years, and I wanted to do Computer Systems Engineering, because that meant I could build robots and program them to do stuff.

Stuff like solving a Rubik’s cube in under 12 seconds (with Lego), or assembling cars, or stacking pancakes. What boldly geeky 18 year old wouldn’t want to do that?

I learned how to write the software that runs the ticket barriers in train stations (no, I didn’t work on Myki). I also learned a lot about magnetic hysteresis and calculus in three dimensions, which I’ve mostly forgotten.

Then I got a job in IT, and still haven’t built a robot. Yet.

Why is IT So Awful?

I’ve written before about my thoughts on how and why IT sucks for business. Watching those videos has crystallised why it annoys me so much.

We’ve been automating factories for decades. All that work going on here used to be done entirely by humans.

We’ve been systematising production for centuries. Adam Smith wrote about division of labour back in 1776!

And yet every large company I’ve worked for in the past 10 years has been universally awful in the way they use IT.

Car companies re-tool their automated factories to produce a new car model every year. Some companies still have critical business applications running on Windows NT 4.

That pancake manufacturer has a robot that stacks pancakes automatically for them, but some companies are still manually typing in commands to their routers over telnet.

The humans in IT are making mistakes, breaking production equipment, and producing an endless supply of hand-crafted, unsupportable, poor-quality products. IT projects have a failure rate of well over 50%, and people just shrug their shoulders and say “Ah well, what can you do?

The only reason it hasn’t been done yet? You’re not trying hard enough.

My Ultimate Goal

Now I’ve finally got a clear, concise way of explaining what I want to do for IT. The next time someone isn’t grokking what I mean, I can just say:

This. This is what I want to do.

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Posted in Uncategorized.

Australian Synchrotron Open Day, 2009

High Voltage

I finally got around to uploading a gallery of photos I took from the Australian Synchrotron Open Day last year.

What is a Synchrotron?

A synchrotron is basically a particle accelerator, but instead of trying to find the Higgs-Boson (or create black holes and cause the end of the universe, if you’re a nutcase who believes that sort of nonsense), it uses a radiation by-product to do high energy science.

Synchrotrons accelerate electrons, not protons or other matter. When you have electrons moving about, you get electro-magnetic radiation; i.e., light. This light is high-energy light, so think X-rays. And just like your doctor can use X-rays to look inside your leg to see how broken it is, researchers can use high energy light to look inside materials, do fancy crystallography, all sorts of things. This is why the tagline for the Australian Synchrotron is “the brightest light in the southern hemisphere”.

This is really useful for all sorts of practical, every-day industrial purposes, like analysing soil samples. Synchrotrons are another awesome example of brilliantly useful things coming out of pure science research, even though it wasn’t what we were looking for in the first place. This is one of the great things about science; just trying to figure out how stuff works so other people can come along later and go “Ooh! I can totally use that to do this really useful thing over here!”

Open Day

Mmmmagnets!

Mmmmagnets!

The Australian Synchrotron has held an open day for the past 2 years that I’ve lived in the area. It looks like they do free tours if you book, but I couldn’t see anything on their website about the Open Day being a regular event.

There was an amazing level of public access, as you can see from the photos. I booked ahead for a guided tour of the control systems, which ended up being a tour of pretty much the whole facility. Not only did we get to see the control room, complete with inflatable kangaroo mascot, we also got to see inside the concrete bunker of the beam path itself.

At one point we had to clamber over the linear accelerator. We were close enough to touch the beam path! How cool is that!?

It was a really popular event, and I hope they keep holding it.

Check out the full gallery of high energy science/industrial machinery porn by clicking here.

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Posted in SCIENCE!, WIN. Tagged with , , .

I Believe You Have My Stapler

One of the biggest reasons I don’t want to take a permanent role at a large corporation is their furniture. It’s not my number one reason, but it’s in the top five.

The chairs are awful. They’re bulk-bought, partially adjustable, cheap, and nasty. Sometimes a company has a policy for how you can get a better one, usually involving medical certificates, being 7 foot 2, or weighing 148kg.

I’m 5 foot 6 and 62kg. No snazzy chair for me.

If I’m lucky, the desks are adjustable. Usually though, the furniture police have the special key thing you need to adjust the height, or (as in one place I worked at), they’ve actually bolted other, non-adjustable pieces onto the adjustable bits, so none of it can be moved. Again, I’m 5 foot 6, so I perch on a chair that’s too high so I can reach the keyboard, and need phonebooks so my feet reach the floor.

This sucks, but I have a solution.

My New Hiring Test

Should I ever interview for a permanent role, here’s a question I’m going to ask:

“I would like a small, discretionary budget I can use for things like a chair, LCD screens, whiteboard markers, that sort of thing. Five to ten grand per year. Would that be possible?”

It’s a question, not a demand, because I’m interested in how the question is answered, more than the specific answer.

I’m expecting that most companies would just say no. A slightly more progressive company may at least entertain the idea. A better company will ask me about why and be willing to be persuaded. The best companies will already have something like this in place.

Here’s why.

Death by a Thousand Cuts

A crappy chair annoys you every day. A too-high desk is irritating all the time. A too-small screen is frustrating every time you open a large spreadsheet.

I want the power to make these small annoyances go away, because small annoyances grow into large ones over time. If I have a comfy chair to sit it, doing boring work tasks sucks that little bit less. I can deal better with all those minor annoyances you get with any job.

A small budget of my own is great for several other reasons:

I get to solve my own problems. Since people are different, there will be loads of different problems. Jill over there might be fine with the standard chair, but wants a footrest. Adam might want a different mouse. They get to solve the problem that affects them specifically, all by themselves.

I’m accountable. I only have $4k to spend (say). If I buy a $3k chair, the money’s gone. I can’t decide half a year later that I should have bought a $2k chair because now I don’t have enough money to buy extra pens. It teaches people that company money isn’t just an endless pile that they get to spend on whatever they like, because hey, it’s not my money.

It demonstrates trust. The company doesn’t assume that I’m stupid and need a manager to figure out what sort of chair I want. People are pretty good at figuring out what their own personal preferences are, and in my experience, managers are almost universally woeful at it.

Penny wise, Pound foolish

A really good chair, say an Arthur Miller ‘Aeron’, costs about $1300 retail. LCD screens are, what, $300-$500 each? An Aeron will last more than 10 years, and an LCD screen will last 3-5 easy.

Try getting your work to buy you one. Listen to the excuses. No doubt there will be company policies, or the need for managerial (or worse, finance) approvals. If you’re super-lucky, you may get to fill in a business case!

Then think about this: If you’re on $100k a year, you cost the company $400 a day. If you goof off for just one day, that’s an LCD screen worth of wasted company time. You can waste an equivalent amount of money with no oversight required at all. But you can’t buy an LCD screen for yourself.

The higher your salary, the worse this is. At my level, salaries are $175k and up, so it’d take about 2 days of watching YouTube videos to buy an Aeron. Or, I could just go to 16 hours of pointless status meetings over the year. Same thing.

Implementing a change that saves a team of 5 people an average of 10 minutes a day (by, say, improving the timesheeting system) is a cost saving of $15k. Enough for everyone to have an Aeron and 2 LCD screens each.

I have total discretion to waste significant amounts of company money with no oversight at all. But I can’t buy my own pens. How empowered am I really?

What would you buy if you had a personal budget for the year?

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Posted in Business Management, Rant. Tagged with .