What Your Corporate Bathroom Says About You

You can learn a lot about a company by its bathrooms. Since I’m male, I’ve only been privy to the workings of the male bathrooms at the companies I’ve worked at. Based on informal polling of my friends and colleagues, the men’s room is probably worse than the ladies’, so it’s an even better indicator of the inner health of the company in question.

Here are my top 5 problems with corporate bathrooms, and what they say about the company:

5. Runs out of toilet paper/hand towel

The company cannot manage capacity and growth. Offices are a thing of the past; you work in a giant cube farm. The company is forever running out of desk space, so people end up sharing desks, meeting rooms, and pieces of floor. People mention putting in a mezzanine level, and they’re only half joking.

4. Ageing décor, everything is faded and sad

The company considers amenities for its employees to be a waste of money. There is no break room, and the kitchen is a tiny cupboard, added as an afterthought. The coffee is cheap, instant and nasty. The microwave was made in Yugoslavia.

3. People answer their cellphone in the cubicles

You exist to serve the company’s needs, at any time, for any reason. Many employees have simply accepted this. Biological sounds are no longer funny the way they were when you were 5; they mean you’re in a teleconference. At 4am.

2. The toilets are not cleaned frequently, or well

The company pays more attention to superficial details than to the heart of the problem. There are short and curlies caught in the hinges of the seat, but no one notices. Outsourcing is popular, because then the company can blame someone else for making the employees sit in puddles of their own wee.

1. No seat cover on the bowl, just the seat

The company does not trust its employees. Consider what it means to work for a company that thinks some of you are likely to steal a toilet seat cover from the office.

Got any corporate bathroom stories of your own? Leave a comment below.

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